A New Goal

I haven't written in a while, mostly because I really haven't had anything worthwhile to write about. I haven't been tracking my food. I haven't been fulfilling my good health guidelines. I have been eating foods that are just conducive to a healthy lifestyle. And no, I'm not surprised that I've gained some more weight.

I haven't gained all of the weight back because I haven't, as my friend Tami says, fallen completely down the rabbit hole. I am still eating better than I used to. I am still getting activity in, even if it's not as much as I want to or should.

Since I injured my foot 22 months ago, I feel like I have been in a fog. (Yes, I am bringing up the injury again, but I promise, this is the last time I will write about it. Even I am sick of thinking about that damn injury.) I have had small goals, but none have seemed to have stuck. I bike ride for a while but quickly get bored. I made a goal to track my food but I just didn't do it. I would make a goal to fulfill my good health guidelines, but I would rather have ice cream than have the cup of fat free greek yogurt and fruit. I would forgo the fruit that was sitting on my desk at work for some potato chips from the kitchen.

I know these are not decision that lead to weight loss and good health. So why did I make the choices I did? Was I in what some people call "brat mode", where I just don't want to do it? Was I just tired of making all of the hard decisions? I don't think so, but there are a few things I have learned about myself over the years:

1.     I need to have goals. Without a goal, I don't quite have a purpose.

2.     I get bored easily and need to constantly challenge myself.

3.     I am always looking to get better and to do better at almost everything I do. I always look to learn something new in everything I do.

4.     There is nothing that pisses me off and motivates me more than being told I can't do something.

5.     I am a very competitive person.

It has been much harder this time starting to run again, partially because I am heavier than before, but also because I am somewhat afraid that I will hurt myself again. I know it's okay to be afraid, but it's not okay to be crippled by that fear. So I decided that I needed to set a new goal for myself and I wanted it to involve running. I could have signed up for a 5K, a 4-miler, or even a 5-miler, but I've already conquered those races. They're fun, but I KNOW I can do them. I've never raced a 10K, but I've walked 10Ks and more just for fun this summer, so it really didn’t seem like much of a challenge.

I DID plan to do my first half marathon in March 2013 before I was sidelined, and it still pissed me off that I couldn't at least try to complete it. So this week I decided to train and sign up for the same half that I had planned to do last year. And like that race, I plan on walking/running the race.

I mentioned the idea to my leader/friend Melanie, who mentioned I could train to run the whole thing in the five months between now and then. I probably could, and that feels like an all or nothing kind of situation that I try not to put myself in. So, I will train to walk/run it, and if I manage to run/walk it then even better.

So how does this help me? Well, by having a goal and purpose, I am find I make better choices. I have already started making better food choices and asking myself, "Will this help me run and walk better? And "Is this food going to help me fuel my body?" or "Do you want the chips or do you want to complete the race?" I haven't been perfect and I don't plan to be, but now I have a reason to want to do well and feel well. If you take a single step in a slightly different direction, it could change everything.

And why will this time be different? Well, I'm for it five months before the race. This gives me time to strengthen up my legs and get some solid base mileage in before starting to train. I am giving myself 16 weeks to train instead of the normal 12, to account for holidays, vacations, and bad weather (I will only train outside this time which means there may be some days when I just can't get any running in and will need to walk). And before I ONLY ran or walked and never did any cross-training. This time, I am already figuring out how I can figure out other activities, sch as bike riding, weights and zumba. I'm even thinking of trying pilates (which is supposed to be great for runners!).

I'm really excited and a little scared to do this race, but I'm okay with that. It's going to be hard but I can do hard. Where's the fun in that?